Summary: how do i show exactly where the memory went?

Thanks for your help everybody, especially Pedro Espinoza who was the 
"first responder".

Here's his reply:

don't rely on top/vmstat.

Try the following instead:

1. echo '::memstat' |mdb -k
2. oramem script at
http://www.evdbt.com/tools.htm#oramem


That first one showed me that the kernel was using lots more memory than 
I thought it should. It reminded me that I had read up on the arc cache 
of zfs in the past and how it wants to use all available system memory. 
That's where the rest of my memory went.

Lots of suggestions to use prstat as well.
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